#coaching Mind vs Heart – Shifting our thinking

“I do know for sure this is just peanut butter on a slice of bread. And what a lousy photograph” said the mind.

IMG_1590  “Not really” says the heart.  “It is an owl. And it is so beautiful.”  “No! I don’t see the owl. It is peanut butter. You stupid. This is just some mushy stuff!”  The mind admonishes.  The heart is hurt. It whimpers. Hides.

Until some years ago, what we thought and felt were considered two different streams. Thinking and Logic became mainstream.  Logic ruled.  We needed to measure. We needed to repeat, without much additional thinking. So came amazing processes. Evaluations. Degrees. Schools. We evolved our lives around this maze. Built communities. Civilizations. That became mainstream.

Now being mainstream is not cool anymore. Well, it was never cool. We always needed Alternates. Rebels. Misfits. We have legacy vs new processes for building software. We have traditional vs non traditional education systems. We now have traditional allopathic vs alternate holistic healing.  Logic vs Heart. Managers vs Facilitators. Hero vs Co-creating.  Isolation vs Co-existing.

“Just the mind” is gone.  It is now “mind, body and spirit”. We say that in Agile. Bring your spirit to the team. Let us co-exist. Let us co-create.

How do we shift our thinking? Where do we start?

The first act is to : PAUSE. STOP. Ask Why? Identify alternates. Understand there is a choice for everything. Every thought. Every act. Are you following the crowd? Are you doing things out of fear? Are you doing them so that you can fit in? Are you doing them because you really don’t care anymore?

These questions help to uncover so many truths, and you can do them by yourself. Maintain a diary. A journal. Sometimes just writing down events that happen are a good start. I got myself a cute pink (first pink for me) bound journal  last year to write down stuff that was happening in my life. Some were not so good events, and they hurt. But I could cry in the comfort of knowing that I was there for me. I could introspect at my pace.  When I read what I had written, I couldn’t believe that I could feel like that. Think that way.  I did not want to feel like that any more.  I did not want to be in situations like that any longer. This helped me take care of those hurtful or painful situations, one at a time. Some slow. Some fast.

Then read. Blogs. Books. Articles. Listen to podcasts. TEDTalks. Something will catch your eye. Will appeal to you deeply.  We  really do not have to shift away from our mainstream interests to understand life. I am realizing that management gurus speak what scientific gurus write about. Scientific gurus refer to spiritual gurus.  It is now a cool trend for management and spiritual gurus to hold retreats and conferences together.

WHY?  It goes back to where we started. Mind and Heart. They need each other. They should not be in conflict. They should be in harmony.  Harmony is not a middle path. Nor it is negotiated at 50-50. Nor it is balance. There is no line that unites or divides. Harmony is union. We do not seek balance in union. We seek to be complete.  So let us allow our heart to talk; and allow our minds to listen; let them be in conflict. They will find harmony.


“Yeah” said the mind.  “I see an owl and two men”. “Really” said the heart. “Just kidding” came the reply!







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